I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
