how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Someone came in the potted fern
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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