Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
