I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
