No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
