Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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