My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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