I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
