DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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