Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Define "chronic" masturbator.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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