You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
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