i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you never un-have a 4some
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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