if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
