I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
