...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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