Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
