i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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