brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
