I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
