Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
