They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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