What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
