ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
