Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
