I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
