The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
