I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
