Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Threesome in a minivan. New low
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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