I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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