I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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