We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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