my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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