Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
