This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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