its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
