sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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