he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize