Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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