for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
