i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
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My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
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You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
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I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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