:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
