A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
this is an emotional support booty call
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Couch. On fire.
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