they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
