But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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