Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
