need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
