well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
