ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
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he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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