I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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