you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
you made out with another girl for some wings
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
