well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize