she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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