idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
