Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I will pee on everything he values.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
