I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
